Understanding Enneagram Types In Friendship
A great wine bottle along with a lengthy conversation-that’s the best way to me being an Enneagram 4. Personally i think most desired and looked after when my buddies accompany me on existential rabbit trails and permit space for those my feelings (a few of which I couldn’t name basically attempted).
In friendships, I’ve found that by understanding each other’s individual needs, I’m able to better take care of them and feel good looked after myself. See, we’re all wired differently, and just what benefits our buddies isn’t always well suited for another.
That is why I really like the Enneagram a lot, and exactly how the tool offers understanding of an individual’s unique makeup. When combined with communication, the Enneagram has trained me how you can love my buddies better and how to inquire about things i need.
“When combined with communication, the Enneagram has trained me how you can love my buddies better and how to inquire about things i need.”
Obviously, communication and elegance are type in any relationship, and it is most significant to become kind with ourselves yet others too all learn to care and love for each other. This feels especially necessary at this time once we change from navigating virtual friendships to being together personally again.
Below, you’ll find strategies for fixing your buddies (and expressing your personal needs) with the lens of Enneagram figures. Remember, these pointers aren’t one-size-fits-all (we are greater than our free online personality test results), but possibly the Enneagram might help all of us thrive a little more within our relationships.
Unsure regarding your Enneagram type? Listed here are in-depth descriptions for every number, in addition to sources and tests for locating yours.
Enneagram Type 1
Your “Perfectionist” Friend
Kicking things off around the Enneagram, Ones would be the “reformer” types who thrive with structure and rules. Yet while your One buddies campaign for change and then try to result in the world a much better place, they fight by having an audible inner critic, leading to them being incredibly difficult on themselves.
Words of affirmation often means everything with this number then. Ones need to feel priced at their contributions around the world, and acknowledging their efforts-whether at the office or home-is one method to convey your ex.
Furthermore, be extra kind for your One buddies, particularly in moments of conflict. Even when they might explain your flaws within the heat of the argument, do not point fingers back their way because they are likely already berating themselves. Rather, invite your friend to tell the truth, encouraging these to consider their “imperfections” lovingly. Help remind them that you simply love them for who they really are, not for that impossible standard they aspire to become.
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Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 1:
Speak affirmations over your friend. Listed here are 99 compliments to help you get began.
Respect your friend’s requirement for structure and order. Do your very best to whenever you say you’ll, and be visible on time when you’ve decided to meet up.
Continually be honest and forthcoming ethics is really a core value with this number.
Your One buddies most likely haven’t-ending to-do lists, so it’s useful should you remove some tasks using their plate. Urge these to use that spare time for any lighthearted and playful experience rather. Adult coloring is a superb choice for the dpi.
Enneagram Type 2
Your “Host” Friend
To not favor one number within the others, but Enneagram-type Twos make excellent buddies. Because the hosts and helpers from the group, they like taking care of people and therefore are naturally intuitive to the requirements of others.
But Twos may also ignore their very own needs inside a friendship. They’re great listeners and genuinely wish to be a secure spot for themselves, but may they should be advised their needs, wants, and opinions matter too. Incompatible, particularly, encourage your Two buddies to convey their feelings. Otherwise, they might deflect and bury their feelings to pay attention to your emotions rather.
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 2:
While Twos genuinely love hosting, sometimes they require (and wish) an evening off too. You are able to love your friend by swapping host roles for that evening. Invite on them for supper or offer to throw that approaching party in your home rather. Let your friend to see what it’s enjoy being a guest!
Encourage limitations. Help remind your friend it’s okay to create themselves unavailable to other people, whether by turning their phone off for that night or locking the leading door.
Functions and services information often means a great deal with this number. Help make your friend meals, offer to babysit their children to have an mid-day, bring over coffee, or send a thanks card once they host a conference. It’s the straightforward things!
ALSO READ : What Does It Mean To Be A Good Friend?
Enneagram Type 3
Your “Achiever” Friend
Threes love working towards goals-additionally they love being acknowledged for his or her efforts and achievements. In friendships, words of affirmation can help remind Threes their successes are noticed and valued. But Threes likewise need honest buddies who tell it for them straight-that they’re loved for who they really are aside from their accolades.
Likewise, this Enneagram number can have a problem with confrontation in addition to vulnerability in friendships, so Threes frequently need prompting to talk about the way they feel. You shouldn’t be dismissive rather, cause them to become discuss their feelings and also to “take business many masks.” Grant your Three buddies permission to prevent performing by inviting them to tell the truth about how exactly they really feel.
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 3:
Consider brainstorming a task you are able to filled with your Three buddies, like practicing a race or raising money for any charitable cause together. Similarly, encourage them within their personal endeavors and goals. Be their cheerleader!
Threes love feeling busy and becoming things done. When they sometimes need others to part of to allow them to rest, they frequently prefer to plan and take control in group settings. In such cases, ask the best way to help. Affirm them within their capability to multi-task and obtain things done.
Encourage your Three buddies to consider a non-competitive, non-performative hobby for self-care. Their list of creative activities is a superb starting point.
Enneagram Type 4
Your “Feelings” Friend
Writing being an Enneagram Four here: We’re attracted to encounters that invite us to interact with this feelings, which applies to our friendships too. Lengthy conversations can leave us feeling seen and understood, so we feel quite loved when others recognize our many feelings and permit space on their behalf.
Furthermore, we Fours need stern buddies to help remind us that it is healthy to challenge our feelings and never always to consider them as truth. I appreciate when my buddies validate my feelings whilst encouraging me to obtain outdoors (frequently literally) and counter my feelings with embodied activities, like solo hiking, for instance.
ALSO READ : Here’s A Journal Prompt For Every Emotion You Might Be Feeling Right Now
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 4:
We Fours enjoy discussing our feelings with buddies-so we love when our buddies are vulnerable in exchange. Sometimes this might seem like getting deep, existential conversations other occasions, we might want to cry together as you’re watching an indie film by candlelight. (Cliché yet accurate.)
Invite us towards the party! Fours frequently feel misinterpreted and invisible. Basically we might not always accept the invitation-we usually prefer intimate gatherings over parties-it’s the idea that counts.
Fours aren’t all heart space we like getting outdoors and being playful too. Invite your Four buddies to take a hike or take a car trip together. I promise it will not be all conversations and wallowing in feelings-not entirely, a minimum of. ??
Remember: Fours (and then any number for instance) aren’t “too sensitive,” so we love living existence with an emotional lens. We just need our buddies to assist us balance our many feelings with logic and truth.
Enneagram Type 5
Your “Introspective” Friend
Likely your most private friend, Fives are introspective and analytical, plus they alllow for incredibly curious and insightful conversationalists-available to get these to talk. They like solitude but they are also loyal and steady buddies. For those who have a 5 inside your existence, you may expect these to “show up” and turn into with you.
Incompatible, be straightforward about your feelings, out on another be amazed in case your Five buddies need space to process their ideas and feelings. Don’t permit them to turn off their feelings entirely, though. Rather, lightly nudge these to express their feelings, and hang a time and date to revisit the conversation after they’ve had the capacity to consider.
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 5:
Fives don’t love small talk, but you can aquire a conversation going through asking what they’ve learned lately or in regards to a book they simply read. They’ll also believe appreciated should you request their opinion and insight.
Respect a Five’s requirement for privacy and solitude-even when you’re a detailed friend. Instead of spontaneously turning up at the friend’s house for any chat (they do not love small talk), silently leave a magazine or coffee around the front porch rather.
Words of affirmation are significant to Fives. Inform them you value their knowledge and appreciate hearing their ideas.
Cause them to become get outdoors and play anyway! Imagination and curiosity don’t always need to be serious or restricted to our minds.
Enneagram Type 6
Your “Loyal” Friend
Enneagram Sixes would be the Golden Retriever of buddies: They’re loyal, reliable, and sincere. It’s believed there are more Sixes on the planet than every other number, therefore we all have in all probability a couple of Six buddies.
Skeptical anyway, Sixes can find it difficult to trust others though, because they lengthy to feel safe and sound within their relationships. Knowing this, do your very best to become authentic and appear for the friend whenever you say you’ll. Don’t dismiss or minimize their worries or fears, either. Rather, be considered a safe person on their behalf by appreciating their requirement for structure, routine, and reliability.
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 6:
Sixes can have a problem with selection, only because they would like to weigh their options first. Like a friend, it’s useful should you chat through their choices together. Cause them to become pay attention to their gut and trust their instincts. Be considered a good listener and inform them you will be there on their behalf whichever path they choose.
An easy action which will make an impact? A text or letter to help remind your friend they matter which you’ll continually be there on their behalf.
Encourage action and play! Invite your friend with an outside adventure or vacation together. Especially when they’re battling having a decision, it will help them obvious their mind and find out the larger picture.
Enneagram Type 7
Your “Adventurous” Friend
The sunshine-hearted quantity of the Enneagram, Sevens understand how to bring adventure and fun to the relationship or experience. They exude positivity, and lightweight and pleasure appear to follow along with them wherever they’re going.
This is often a wonderful trait in friendships, as Sevens are frequently conflict and negativity adverse. You likely always have a very good and wholesome time when around your Seven buddies.
And our Seven buddies can educate us how you can watch our cups half full, they require others to lightly help remind them that existence includes grief and anger, too-and that’s okay. Offer just to walk together with your Seven buddies because they learn how to confront heavier feelings and help remind them they do not have to repress discomfort. They can nonetheless be experience pleasure and happiness while recognizing the depth of the feelings.
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 7:
Propose a sleepover! Equal parts playful and safe space for much deeper connection, a sleepover is a terrific way to have some fun whilst encouraging your Seven buddies to understand more about their feelings (more than a bowl of popcorn, obviously).
Get outdoors together. Sevens love adventure and exercise. Celebrate this characteristic and affirm them within their capability to live existence towards the maximum.
It has come about as an unexpected due to how energetic they’re, but Sevens really prefer lots of time alone, and they’re very content in their own individual company. Respect this need and exercise healthy limitations inside your friendship.
Enneagram Type 8
Your “Leader” Friend
You likely determine if you’re buddies by having an Enneagram Eight: The dpi is confident, intense, and never afraid to talk up on their own varieties. As action-oriented individuals, there is a large amount of energy and-like Ones-are enthusiastic about justice and order.
But Eights may also find it difficult to most probably with buddies because they sometimes conflate vulnerability with weakness. For anxiety about being controlled, they continue to be guarded. To assist with this particular, try offering your personal vulnerabilities first. Love your Eight buddies by respecting their independence whilst nudging these to remove their armor. Affirm potency and efficacy, but help remind them that vulnerability is really a strength, too.
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 8:
Respect your friend’s opinions, even though you differ together. Eights don’t fear conflict, plus they enjoy healthy debate and dialogue. So be firm in your values while respecting their own.
Should you prefer a shoulder to weep on, turn to your Eight buddies. While their intensity could be mistaken for insincerity, they enjoy being there for other people. Acknowledge them like a safe and powerful space. This could also cause them to become practice mutual vulnerability (a trait they fight with).
Eights are born leaders, so that your friend will like it should you allow them to take control. Additionally they enjoy when others request their opinions when creating plans. If planning occasions or journeys together, permit them to dominate specific to-do list products (like booking the Airbnb).
Enneagram Type 9
Your “Peace Maker” Friend
Enneagram Nines come with an remarkable superpower: They be capable of see all perspectives and therefore are really conscious of everyone’s needs and feelings. Well, that’s, aside from their very own. Nines, because the peacemakers from the group, care deeply about harmony. They’ll visit great lengths to make sure everybody feels heard and seen a lot they forget they hold opinions and needs. His or her buddies, it’s essential we help remind them their voice matters too.
When getting together with your Nine buddies, affirm their empathy and empathic spirit. But additionally watch out for once they may deflect or defer to other people in an effort to avoid expressing themselves.
Strategies For Loving An Enneagram 9:
Nines can have a problem with selection as they’d choose to “go using the flow” and do what’s perfect for the audience. Nudge these to affirm their desires by asking yes/no questions instead of open-ended questions. For instance, rather of “Where would you like to choose dinner?” ask, “Would you want sushi or pasta?”
Sounding that last point, practice persistence together with your Nine buddies. Then celebrate the moments once they do come to a decision.
Keep your peace! While conflict is part of all relationships, think hard and pick your battles together with your Nine buddies. They’d much choose to spend some time quality together than dialogue about politics (*side-eyeing the above mentioned number).
Incompatible, provide your Nine buddies lots of room and speaking space. It’s an issue whenever a Nine speaks up or out, particularly in anger. Pay attention to what they say and thank them for hitting the scales around the matter.
Are you aware your Enneagram number? I’d like to hear your feelings most desired from your buddies within the comments below! ??